final – 25 (objects-memories-videos-people-years)

http://itp.nyu.edu/~kb1270/oblog/?p=456

existencial final crisis

So here’s my story of this final.

The topic of the last assignment was ‘crowd sourcing.’
And somehow, I thought I have to do my final something, related to that.
So I come up with dance exquisite corpse idea, etc, etc.
and even shot my hands dancing.

but uh-ahh.
I got stressed. Deep down, I knew there’s no way
I could be building this by the end of this semester. seemed too techy, too complicated.
(and I also know this may be simply excuses. This fact made me more depressed.)

so,,,
I got stressed
and to be honest,
I started to procrastinate.

In help session with Daniel, he gave me advice to do what really spoke to me.
So I played more with remix stuff that I did, changing language, speed and so on.

(if you wanna know the meaning of the poem I’m reading, go to subtitled video)

But as you can see….
It’s too dark. I wanted something light.
One good thing came out of this is that I don’t hate my voice any longer
….. call me narcissistic.

So all this process made me desperately wanting Okka’s project ‘FOR ME‘.

New posting by Poram:
“Please, any idea is thin in my brain and physical energy is thin in my body.
But I have finals to do, to pass this class. Can any body do my gsts final, FOR ME?”

So, I decided to do this final about this final and outsource everything.
words, voices and videos.
(by the way, I wanted Jeff to do my video with his awesome camera.
but I figured he would be very busy doing his.)

This got me thinking.
Why am I having this hard time in general at ITP?
I guess it’s part of identity crisis or existential crisis.

I thought ITP might be good fit for me.
Cuz when I’m having chats with my friends (mostly Korean, mostly female)

But no, I realized I’m not a geek.
Especially among this super duper smart brilliant people.

I thought there’s an artistic side in me.

But, and So, I never consider myself as an artist.

So there you go, I lost track of who I am. …. oops.

So till I get my answers, till I fully understand,
till I get over my not-so-existential-late-20-early-30-crisis,
I’ll try not to freak out with hope that this kind of moment will come to me someday.


For last, here’s what I wanted to say to you guys,
This class with all of you, really helped me get through this semester with fun and insights.

so, Thank You All.

The Figure 8 – [teaser]

View the project at thefigure8.net.